Sunday, 19 January 2014


In a previous blog I mentioned my pregnancy weight.  For both girls I was huge. Enormous. I looked as though I was about to explode. And that was at 6 months.

With Little Miss – I went three weeks over the due date. I suspect she didn’t want to come out because she knew I had no idea what to do once she arrived. She was safe in all that warm floaty fluid. 

Leading up to getting pregnant, I wasn’t feeling well. I had stomach pains, I couldn’t sleep, and my weight went up then down.  I thought it was stress; I had a very stressful job that in retrospect I should have left years before.  My doctor disregarded my self diagnosis and suggested I go on a no preservatives, no alcohol, and caffeine free diet.  When I heard this, I got stressed.  

Reluctantly I went on the diet. I already exercised so after a six month combination of healthy eating and exercise, I had to admit, I felt great. But OH MY GOD I was boring.  I hated going to restaurants, as I always went for the safest meal – fish and steamed vegetables. I stopped attending work drinks, as it was all too tempting.  And then I fell pregnant.

I rejoiced for two reasons. I could justify my self-imposed boringness.  There was, in my mind real reason to watch what I ate – not some health freak rationale. I had to protect the little blimp in my womb, and I was pregnant.

I didn’t have morning sickness, I continued to exercise (gently) and work like a dog. I was going to do it all.  I continued to watch what I ate.  I got big, then bigger, then huge.  People would ask me if I was carrying twins. The doctor advised it was all normal.

Three weeks past my due date and I was induced. Oh how I howled (and that was while waiting to be induced). I was terrified. When the labor pains kicked in – I begged them to stop the pain. They gave me gas and air and I was quickly off my face.

I refused to let Mr. Right talk to the midwife for fear he would distract her and I would miss the opportunity for an epidural. Yes people, I was not going to go natural. I wanted drugs, all of them.  I was so off my nut on gas and air that I didn’t feel the epidural. 

Twenty hours later, Little Miss still refused to arrive. I had an emergency caesarian, and Little Miss came out at a whopping 9.11 pound. For those of you not in the know. That is absolutely HUGE and there was no way Little Miss would have been able to come out the normal way without causing damage.

People say healthy diet and exercise during pregnancy makes for an easy labor. Well, let me tell you, it was not the case for me.

For pregnancy number two I was sick. Constantly. I initially thought my illness was due to me going back to work after Little Miss.  You see, my boring diet and exercise regime continued after Little Miss. I couldn’t work out why I was so unwell.  When I worked it out I was shocked.

My cravings were bad. I couldn’t retain a healthy diet as much as I tried. I could guzzle a super sized packet of crisps and family block of chocolate faster than you can say broccoli.

I loved having an excuse to eat like pig and let it all just hang out.  Oh I reveled in it. Like the fat kid in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory,  I ate and ate and ate, fruit, veg, chocolate, ice-cream.  It was never enough. I was always so hungry that I thought I would pass out from hunger.  Control yourself, the doctors would say. I couldn’t hear them as I was too busy salivating, waiting to leave the consultation room for a pack of crisps.

My back went, my hips ached, and I was out of breath.  I would get on the bus or tube for work – and I could almost hear passengers calling out ‘Warning wide load approaching, beep beep beep!’

I was so big that I had a caesarian three weeks before the due date. Oh and the epidural HURT. 

The day the baby was born, I lost 20 kilos of fluid. Apparently it wasn’t my diet that made me huge, I carried a lot of fluid. I sort of knew because when I was in a car taking a sharp turn, I felt as though I was holding a fish bowel – that threatened to spill over.

Oh my she was cute.  A full head of hair and substantially smaller. She was a normalish sized baby at 8.4 pounds.

So why bore you with pregnancy and birth stories? You’ve heard them all before?  I bore you because, the two days my girls were born were the most exciting and best days of my life.  Oh, and it’s my blog so I can write anything I want to.

This blog forms part of Lisa Lintern's blog a day challenge. Visit Melodramatic Me for more information.

1 comment:

  1. I love reading other people's pregnancy and birth stories. And I'm also a lover of pregnancy drugs.