Mummyfried

 Since February, I have been strutting into a fabulous office, to do a fabulous job, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to conquer the day at this incredible award winning genuinely professional communications agency.  And let me tell you, this place is like the Olympics of professionalism—energetic, dedicated, and responsive, just like yours truly. Let's talk about the boss lady. She's like the superhero version of who I want be when I grow up—smart, hilarious, down-to-earth, and has enough energy to power a small city.  An inspirational leader (who is younger than me, but let's leave that alone). I'm not exactly living that glamorous life. I'm a single mom to two not so tiny terrors who make mornings feel like a battlefield. Getting my moody teen out of bed is like trying to convince a bear to do ballet. And then there's the epic showdown of getting dressed, where I'm basically the ringmaster in a circus of chaos. Meanwhile, the 11 year old baby is wa...

I am gearing up for some impending dental drama next week. I am facing the reality of not one but five fillings and cannot help but feel fear. Plain, clear, unmanageable fear.  The search for an appropriate dentist is harder than finding a 50-something single, unscarred man. Unlike dating, (where you just don't have to do it), I have to continue with dental treatment, all the while trying to find the one. THE ONE PERFECT DENTIST. The appointments next week are mercifully broken into two sessions. The urgent fixes followed by the not so urgent. In preparation for next week, I came clean with my dental phobia. The poor dentist allocated to me is now privy to my irrational fear of dental work, a revelation that will earn me a starring role in daily water-cooler conversations. Back in the day, before my move to Greece, I used to frequent a dentist who specialised in treating children. He had two adult patients. Mummyfried, any dentist's dream patient - and my friend who referred me...

For those who do not know me, I am not particularly comfortable around animals. I selectively pet dogs and avoid cats like the plague. I think household pets are seriously smarter than what we give them credit for. Find a good docile attentive owner - and the ideal lifestyle is created. This gives any human like me, watching from afar hope to be reincarnated into a household pet. Birds are as close to my heart as my love of hard labor on a summer’s day. Fish are to be eaten, or left to navigate the planet's plastic polluted waters. They definitely should not crammed into a small round fishbowl or not flushed down the toilet when they die. We live in a dog-friendly and dog-loving leafy area, decorated with an enormous sprinkle of dogshit. This means I walk around the area with a not-so-happy or light spring in my step.  My discomfort goes further. I simply can’t deal with houses that smell like animal. Despite the above, I often find myself in the distasteful position of having cats...

The unwelcome invasion of hormonal, attitudal  (is that a word?), smelly teenagerhood has rudely planted itself in my once, almost peaceful home. One day, I woke up and it was firmly implanted like a concrete blob. Ugly, tough, impenetrable and difficult to remove. No warning, no instruction manual, no return policy. And - it is as brutal, hurtful, scary and about as confusing as a head on collision.  I get that teenagers are stressed, angry, hurting lonely -  I once was that hormonal mess - and this is what worries me.  Under the steel strict ever watchful eye of my mother - I had no wiggle room to be a smart ass (at home) but I have an inkling on how the 'A Clockwork Orange'  type of teenage rage campaign is, and for how long it lasts for. Frankly, I want none of it. I want to pull the plug and now. I am ill equipped, ill prepared to handle this. Modern day teens introduce a whole new complexity to the concept of parenting. I not ready to parent this gracefull...

The participation trophy for playing the game of corporate life without a rulebook, a map, or a decent budget is packaged up into a signed documented and a meager financial thanks called Redundancy. The lone ranger is out of commission. After seven years of undying dedication to a company that seemed to thrive on the philosophy of 'No Direction, No Budget, confused with micromanagement and thousands of ridiculous rewrites came - the role, and the person suddenly to a screaming halt. The late nights that had become friends were now waving goodbye, the fun weekends that had become myths were going to come back, the 14-hour day - over, done, no more. The sweetest cherry on top of this professional sundae was the reminder from higher-ups and the incompetent replacement higher than you, that you were in their eyes, after all the years of delivering, aiding mergers, profits, and recognition, about as competent as a fish riding a bicycle. So what that your role was carved up like ...

Just when you thought I would post once today, no - I had a last-minute whim to post again.  Today is an essential day for visualising your dreams.  I document these publicly not to share with my average of 8 readers (I am 7 of those) but for me - as I need to start doing things for me. So, I write as though I have acquired these - believing (and I will) achieve these. 1. I am thankful for my beautiful, wholly owned, debt-free home in the area of my choice. It is filled with love, hope, peace and bountiful positive and cheeky energy. 2. I love driving my reliable, safe, sporty, sun-roofed 4wd - that is new, never breaks down and, if / when required, will be upgraded to a new one - without debt or dents. 3. I am thrilled to provide my daughters with the academic, vocational, emotional, psychological and developmental support they need - without stressing or straining any budget or time. 4. I am excited to give back to the community through my successful business ventures that f...

  It's the third year I sent the lovely little ankle biters to two week camp. The third time is the charm, they say. This year I am absolutely rocking it. I have cleaned the house, done some self-care, exercised, gone out - not once, not twice, but countless times - and slept an unbelievable amount of hours. I have reacquainted myself with Netflix - not when the critters are asleep - but on an ordinary evening. I have cracked open bottles of wine, drank beer and NOT COOKED once. I am in heaven. I do miss them - but oh have I enjoyed the silence. Have I reveled in the freedom to listen to my favourite songs, dance like a mad woman in the loungeroom without judgement. Have I seriously lavished in stretching out in my bed - without fear of getting little foot-in-face surprises! Absolutely! Too busy relaxing to write more.