The fish that got away
The following has
been created after weaving together a few stories and extending the truth a little.
Once upon a time, not so long ago it seems for the daughters
who are currently tending to their emotional scars, a traditional European
couple who were parents to these wonderful daughters set about making plans for
their respective futures.
They created a list of requirements and put to action a plan
they thought would guarantee that their daughters would marry a man of their parents’ choice.
While the list lacked some fundamental requirements in
ensuring a happy marriage, it was agreed by both husband and wife that compatibility
and sexual attraction could be learnt and therefore not essential to appear on
the list.
Further, if he scored a 4 out of 10 or lower in the looks department, the
future husband should be able to buy his way via a third party (a cosmetic
surgeon) to gain an above average mark. If the prospective husband understandably did not want surgery, a blindfold would be given to the daughter for those 'intimate moments' for procreation not enjoyment only.
Lack of any of the following however was in short, a deal
breaker. Failure to meet the essential or desirable criteria, wouldn’t get a
look in:
Essential:
2. Educated (medical or legal degrees only)
3. Wealthy
4. Came from good stock (to protect the identity of these parents and daughter, I won’t say which, but the parents wanted somebody of particular cultural background - theirs)
5. Wealthy (just to ensure essential number one was missed)
6. Own property and in the process of purchasing more (presentation of property purchase plan OK)
7. Agree (on paper) to live next door or two doors away from parents
8. Never been married before
9. No bastards, sorry, no children from previous relationships
Desirable:
1. Have two sets of parents, married to each other,
both with teeth and presentable socially
2. If this impossible, then one or both parents to be deceased
3. Property to have in-law residence – to cater for parent’s (and not in-law) old age
2. If this impossible, then one or both parents to be deceased
3. Property to have in-law residence – to cater for parent’s (and not in-law) old age
They tried to ensure that their daughters were blind to
their plan.Subtlety was not their forte.
The girls being girls, of course developed relationships
with individuals without parental guidance.
On the rare occasion the girls risked the relationship by bringing one
of these non-desirable's home, the parents provided insight into the relationship with their future in-laws family should the non-desirable
become a part of the family.
Daughter: ‘Mum, this is Shane’
Mum: ‘Oh! Allo Shine. How are your parents?’ (Parents having left poor Shine. at age 4 to
be raised by his now deceased grandparents while the parents pursued a more
hedonistic lifestyle. Mum would do her research before allowing any prospective son in law in the house).
Being very active in their local church, the parents were
often invited to weddings, christenings engagements of family’s the girls did
not know.
Forced to play the role of the
good daughter/ or cameo in a Brady-esque
happy family look, they had no choice but attend.
At one such social gathering two of the sisters found them allocated
to different tables, despite not knowing anyone else at the function. The girls
swiftly took charge of the situation and swapped seating cards, allowing them
to sit together.
The host (and
prospective mother in law) saw the change and promptly separated the girls seating them next to their hopefully future husbands, and for the younger
daughter, her sister’s future brother in law.
Sensing the proposed match, the eldest daughter refused to
be interviewed by the relatives on the table she sat in frozen silence and embarrassment,
glaring at her parents across the room.
Her stare, filled with such controlled rage that for once in
their experience as ‘guiding parents’ they felt a little frightened and dreaded
the drive home. Her silence and seething became as loud as the grooms yellow
jacket. Her parents feeling the heat, started to sweat and glisten in a similar
way to the prospective grooms bald head.
The youngest daughter, having taken advantage of the free
booze sauntered over to her sister’s table. lent over, introduced herself to
her prospective brother in law.
Taking up as much of his personal space as she
could without sitting on him, she stepped back suddenly looked at him in disgust
and said ‘if you want to make a good impression – probably best not to eat
garlic before a function. Here have a mint and good luck with the next girl.’
Conversation at the table, and those nearby stopped. The sisters looked
at each other in mutual love and adoration. The proposed match ground to a
halt.
Not perturbed by the failed match, the parents soldiered on.
One failed attempt after the other, their circle of friends and networks with sons that were prospective matches shrunk. Fortunately, the
eldest daughter surprised all and bought home a young man that met essentials 2.
4. 6. 7. 8 and 9 and all the desirable criteria.
The parents couldn’t have been happier and congratulated themselves
on gently guiding their daughter. They eagerly turned their attention to their younger
more spirited daughter hoping they wouldn’t lose too many more friends.
Unfortunately they failed.
Moral to the story? Parents! Let your child fall in and out
of love without restrictions, lists or rules. This freedom will allow them to
live their life to the fullest and importantly will allow you to keep the
company of good friends who happen to have good sons, and now grandchildren! YOu must think of your grandchildren's future too.
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