Growing pains
Today I attended an emergency session with a child specialist.
I knew deep in my heart, the problem wasn't with either of my children. The problem was / is with the child in me.
That sensation of fear, guilt, shame suddenly engulfed me during the session. What was I doing here?
All along, I knew the truth, but for some reason, I had to hear it from a trained professional. I paid 100 euro to hear what my heart had been telling me all along.
It was time to grow up - take responsibility and change the circumstances I had created. Without fear. I had made a decision, the right decision and I failed to communicate that clearly to the children. I was not acting with confidence - but with great sadness - and this had caused confusion.
I expected the children to accept a change that was better for them in the blink of an eye. They are not that adaptable,.
It took me a little over two years to take the courage and gumption to take a positive step. How was it that I was expecting two children to accept a change in less than three months - particularly when I had managed it like a bumbling fool?
It was time / it is time to grow up. Time to seal the gaps, create a smooth road for them, make room for the kids to get used to things and allow them to just be kids.
So that they can grow up in time, not before their time.
And that is a promise I make to them today.
I knew deep in my heart, the problem wasn't with either of my children. The problem was / is with the child in me.
That sensation of fear, guilt, shame suddenly engulfed me during the session. What was I doing here?
All along, I knew the truth, but for some reason, I had to hear it from a trained professional. I paid 100 euro to hear what my heart had been telling me all along.
It was time to grow up - take responsibility and change the circumstances I had created. Without fear. I had made a decision, the right decision and I failed to communicate that clearly to the children. I was not acting with confidence - but with great sadness - and this had caused confusion.
I expected the children to accept a change that was better for them in the blink of an eye. They are not that adaptable,.
It took me a little over two years to take the courage and gumption to take a positive step. How was it that I was expecting two children to accept a change in less than three months - particularly when I had managed it like a bumbling fool?
It was time / it is time to grow up. Time to seal the gaps, create a smooth road for them, make room for the kids to get used to things and allow them to just be kids.
So that they can grow up in time, not before their time.
And that is a promise I make to them today.
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