Mr. Lucky plans to out try new recipe today. Yesterday he left the ingredients out on the kitchen bench in preparation. Like theatre staff prepping the surgeon’s tools before a big operation, I arranged his purchases, pulled out saucepans and chopping boards. I then searched high and low for it, and with a sinking fearful realisation, I discovered yet again, that the peeler was missing.
I am afflicted with repetitive TOTPAS. For those ignorant to illnesses of the domestic kind, TOTPAS is short for Throwing out the Peeler Again Syndrome. I haven’t met anyone else with this serious disease.
I skipped out to the corner store to find a replacement peeler. . Sunday trading in this Greek Home and Away town is non-existent. It’s the corner store or nothing.
I told Mr. Right that I had to buy Little Miss a treat as she had been a very very good girl over the weekend (that part of my cover story was true).
I must be the only person in this sleepy town with TOTPAS, as they didn’t stock peelers. I quickly focused my attention on getting Little Miss a treat. Treats must be rare in this town too, the selection was dire.
I spotted a packet of 8 balloons. I sniggered my filthy thoughts aside and focused on the Greek text describing the balloons as 'animal shaped.' I paid for them and left for home.
Check out the packaging.
Little Miss was ecstatic. I blew up the first balloon. She got scared.
I blew up the second balloon – I got scared.
I blew up the third balloon. We agreed it would be more fun to play with something else.
I rechecked the packaging to check that I hadn’t bought a blow up sex game. This is a small town after all and word gets around. I also had a mild panic attack remembering that I told the lady at the corner store I was buying the balloons for my two year old. I certainly didn’t want child protection services knocking on my door.
I was in the clear. In addition to confirming that they were simply animal shaped balloons, the small print advised that they were made out of natural product (no information as to what that really means) and that they (the balloons I guess) respect me and the environment.
Despite being environmentally friendly and respectful, I still threw them and their fantasy packaging out.
I better hurry up. Retail trading today is from 8 am to 2 pm. I need to get my butt out to the shops to buy a replacement peeler before Mr Right discovers ours is missing. Of course I will buy an appropriate treat for Little Miss.
I then need to get back home and tell Mr. Lucky about my illness. I don’t know if it’s hereditary, so no doubt he will worry.
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