Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Sleep depraved and deprived

Ok, who was that soft around the waist and head mummy moron that uploaded a blog of unconditional love and baby blah blah 'she is so cute I just can't get enough of her'?

Call the doctor. Really - I don't know that woman. Today I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and aside from the 'softness around the waist' issue - I was terrified. There was nothing soft about the woman staring blankly at me.

I will never be able to erase that image from my mind...

That woman (yes, in this sleep depraved and deprived state I speak in the third person) has consulted Gina Ford, Tizzie's 'Save our Sleep', and tried controlled (and uncontrolled - oops that is me, back to first person) crying.   I have watched The Nanny. I have consulted the Baby Whisperer. I have read and researched.   I have tried 'The Deep End Approach' (no dirty jokes here please, am too tired to laugh) - all have failed. I now use the 'No Approach.'

That cute chubby cherub just won't sleep. So much so is her determination to stay awake - that even I am beginning to question how cute she is. Something changed. She just woke up one day and thought, 'No, I am not going to sleep when I am told to. I refuse routine.'

Add Little Miss to the equation.  A stranger at restaurant recently called her Diva.  Not far from the truth I quietly mused.  Last night, or rather this morning Little Miss put on her best show performance. Between 1 am and 3 am our neighbors' had the pleasure of hearing the world's loudest tantrum.  I expect The Baby's refusal to sleep disturbed Diva and this set her off.

So back to The Baby Whisperer, back to Gina and Tizzie and of course The Nanny......great books, well done, thanks for printing and sharing but your techniques DON"T WORK.

I have joined that sorry group of mums on mummy websites sharing painful sleep deprived stories asking or begging for help. I have tried and tested different techniques for weeks and weeks on end (yes I know consistency is key). All have failed. 

If I had the energy I would throw myself a huge tantrum and scream it all out. If I weren't typing I would be raiding the cupboards looking for some gin, or scotch. If only they would sleep,  then I could stop moaning, boring myself and you and write something new!

Some people want world peace, others want money, I want 8 full uninterrupted hours of deep, restful sleep, so I can start to think about anything else other than sleeping.

Are you sleep deprived? What is your story?

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